Hey all! And hello especially to my new readers!
So today my mom informed me that one of my dad's friends rang him up, telling him that his wife happened to "stumble" across my blog (also known as googling my name to see what dirty info came up) and thought that there were some tidbits that they simply HAD to know about. I am SUCH a deviant child, I know, so it's a good thing that I have some watchdogs looking out for me in the big bad world of cyberspace.
It's also a good thing I chose not to include that incident when I ate a baby, or ran an elaborate drug cartel overseas last summer. Wouldn't want mom and pop knowing about THAT. Instead, they heard that I had some problems with moving home (which they knew about), have some problems with their religion (which my mom knew about at least, and I assume my dad had inferred or heard about), the fact that I associate with lesbians (gadzooks!), and that I use the word "fuck" a lot. whoopsie!
I stand by my stance that my blog is open. I put it out there; anyone is free to read it. I assumed noone would particularly want to, simply because most of what I do is bitch and talk about knitting projects and flowers, and most people don't want to read about that (so thank you, dear friends, for staying tuned even though I am boring).
But I was obviously naive in that assumption - apparently the anecdotes about my life were of worth to someone, and that someone only wanted to inflict pain with that information. To be perfectly honest, I think it was one of the most small and petty things I have ever heard an adult to have done. To seek information about someone's twenty year old daughter in order to shame them or make them angry at her seems a really manipulative move to make, straight outta the schoolyard. This is unfortunate, as I greatly respected both of the perpetrators, and considered them to be close family friends (you know, the friends of your parents you'd still want at your wedding one day). I was hurt that people I respected felt this was a reasonable move to make, and felt no regard for what their actions might do. If indeed any evidence of dangerous behaviour were found, am I not at the age where it would be more reasonable to discuss it with me, an adult in my own right? Was there really so little a regard for my parents' friendship? What were the intentions of such actions, and how could there possibly be well-intentioned motives? I can only see the intention to cause trouble, especially when it is clear there has been an effort to rebalance my home life - these are NOT the actions of a friend. On the bright side, I'm glad they've shown their true colours over so small a matter, and that my parents' greatest concern was that I had been sharing too much of myself online. I am disappointed and, if you hadn't guessed, pretty angry that someone would try to use me to hurt my parents.
So please, stay tuned if you so feel inclined. I'll be sure to include some naughty details about my latest tryst with the hot gardener from two doors down, since it's clear some out there have so little of a life that they'd rather concern themselves with mine.
amanda
Thursday, May 31, 2007
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About Me
- Amanda
- I like writing almost as much as I like eating.
Read what I'm writing at burgundy girls.
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14 comments:
Respect is a apt word.
My friend alerted me to this because he felt I was being disrespected. Your belittling of me, my beliefs, my way of life and even where I live for the amusement of your friends on a public forum was my friend's concern. Not your language. Not the details of your life.
As a friend who is a father and is doing all he can to support his family as am I, he was justly mortified for me by your comments. I appreciate his candour.
As for you, I have earned more respect than this.
i don't really want to get in a fight with you two but it really isn't the sort of thing for people to get really stressed out about. does it hurt any more to see it written then to assume that these things are being said amongst her social group. just because someone has difficulty as an adult cojming back to live with their parents, associates with a different set of beliefs then them and has the courage to respond to it in a mature way is not damning. when i was in high school i was writing a blog, as was my best friend at the time, that a teacher found by google searching our names (which by the way is incredibly creepy). my best friend and i were brought in to a number of meetings with him where he discussed what we were writing and that if we didn't remove them from the internet immediately we would be reprimanded. oh no, student council members were writing short stories about things outside of their realm of direct knowledge. oh no, they don't necessarily adhere to the every words that the school has put before them, they feel like they have grown-up. while this is different from what you are doing with her journal it isn't all that far off. you are trying to silence her in the same way and what is the difference if it is said or written. people need to vent sometimes, people need to grow up. as someone who has read her journal since it started (and through this comment you can now look at my really bad poetry blog, and my movie reviews) can say that i don't think anything she has written has been disrespectful. i know how amanda feels for her parents and their friends. it's hard being a young adult who goes from living on your own in a different city to coming home and living under a roof with restrictions again. its really tough. owe her the same respect you yourselves are requesting.
I use my blog as a place to vent frustrations and questions I am grappling with. It was not intended to offend my parents, and for that, I am sorry.
However, I am not sorry that I wrote these things. This is a space where I can freely speak the things I am feeling, even if those things fade with time. This is a space where I can commiserate with my friends over what it is to be a developing adult, and all of the frustrations associated with that. This is a space where I can be the person I am with my friends, and I am not able to when I am fulfilling the role of daughter.
I don't agree with my parents on some fronts, but I wholeheartedly love them - I understand that they are doing what they think is best for me every step of the way. This is not a blog where I am mocking them (or at least that is not what I had intended); it is a blog where I am expressing beliefs that are dissimilar to theirs, and am learning to be an adult. There are, understandably I think, some subjects I have not broached in person with my parents, and that has a lot to do with the difficulties I feel in facing them. I know that these are problems, but they are things that I am facing, and this blog is important to me as a way to learn how to do that. This is a space where I have a sounding board, and the ability to write and focus my thoughts. I understand that it is not appreciated how public this forum is, but I haven't smeared anyone's name in the dirt; I have merely been expressing my angst about growing up and becoming more solidified in beliefs that differ from my parents. If that makes me an "internitwit," then I embrace the term with open arms.
Also: I removed my email address to prevent being able to Google my name and have this blog pop up. I am proud of what I write here, but I do intend for my audience to be my friends. The link is still available to them through other websites. If I were truly cowardly and did not want responses, wouldn't I have shut off the ability to comment? And why does my email address matter now, after the fact? It still stands that you and your wife chose to approach my father rather than me - if you truly were so upset by the comments, would it not be more adult to approach me rather than my father? You knew that they would upset him, and instead of choosing to alert me that you knew (or perhaps even alerted me that you were going to tell my father?), you tattle-told. Perhaps I am wrong to want to shield my parents from my differing beliefs until I am more defined, but the truth is, I don't like hurting them and I knew the truth would not be something they wanted to hear. That is why I kept them to a forum intended for my friends, who have shared their problems with me and with whom I have reciprocated. I do not see an intention to deal with what you clearly view as a problem in an adult manner - I think that you just ran and told my father rather than deal with me initially. If you don't think I am an adult, how do you ever expect I will become one when I am treated as a child?
ugggg the reason i go anonymous with mine is because i've had to. i'm not embarrassed by what i write but i don't need snoopy people google searching my name and finding my rantings, i use my blogs as a space for me to write things for myself, to help jog MY memory.
but right down to it, you yourself sir are acting immature, YOU are the one name-calling, YOU are not acting like an adult. you are acting like a demi-god, as though everyone else is your minion, as though you know all which is not fair.
i hate saying this but can you at all remember what it was like in YOUR early 20's. would living with your parents be the most ideal situation for you? do you still adhere to the same set of beliefs that your parents raised you in exactly? did you ALWAYS follow those beliefs? did you ever get into arguments with your parents? i'm going to assume i know your answers on these and am going to just say remember what it was like to be young for two seconds.
you are right saying fuck a lot doesn't make someone an adult, but it sure sounds cool.
With "Instead of typing asinine drivel in that pseudo-tough “jaded young netbitch” type of style (utterly indistinguishable from millions of others, by the way, and not revelatory of any writing ability at all)" you just negated your entire comment, Paul Rivoche.
Utterly indistinguishable from millions of others.
So why pick on Amanda for keeping a journal like this?
Millions do it.
To me, your entire rant sounds more particularly like you're angry at Amanda for her decisions of late, rather than what she posted it.
So what if she's not going back to Western and instead is living in her parents basement. I'm attending my convocation next week, work full time, volunteer with a non-profit, and am starting a post grad in September, and I have the same sort of blog - have fun - read it: starringjosie.livejournal.com.
Our North American generation is currently suffering what sociology calls "the young adulthood".
We aren't adults. Due to increased education, spoiling by the wealthy baby boomer generation, later marrying age, and a lack of quality
entry level jobs, twenty somethings are stuck in a general transient lifestyle for their twenties, where they have no responsibility.
I wouldn't say that I fulfill that criteria, however, a majority do.
Thus, don't pick on Amanda for what she has written, simply because you think she should be some super successful young thing, when really she's just part of the majority.
And I'm thinking this comment isn't going to make any particular sense, but really, my general sentiments are:
1. If you're pissed at Amanda for being at home, tell her so.
2. It's a whiny self-involved blog.
Or really, a blog, since pretty much all personal blogs are whiny and self-involved.
3. Identity is not stable. Human beings act differently in every social situation. If Amanda choses to act in a much freer fashion on a medium she believes is that of her peers then you are accustomed to, so be it. I'm sure you act significantly different in a sports bar versus at your workplace.
4. Even though you are a family friend, you really have no right whatsoever to be criticizing Amanda's life and her choices. That is between her, and those who are currently in the position of supporting her.
5. I'm not even friends with Amanda. In fact, she drove me to the point of insanity (and I did the same to her) in January, and we have only spoke a handful of times since then. However, I am still incredibly angry on her behalf.
ps. by young adulthood, i mean emerging adulthood.
well i'm glad you picked up on how brainless i am.
but not everyone that is defending Amanda here is living at home suckling at the parental teat. i live on my own, pay my own rent, have graduated from university, am doing a graduate degree and i am paying for my own education. i am not as vacuous as you may think.
oh... and before you say WELL GOOD FOR YOU... that is not why i mentioned that at all. i guess because i'm anonymous i feel its somewhat important to put myself in context, although giving my name to you would just reveal my entire varsity rugby career to you (if you feel so obliged to google it).
i imagine you have read this http://www.networkworld.com/community/?q=node/8188
i might write an article about this though
I appreciate your comments and concerns. I have resolved the issue with the only people resolving with matters: my parents. It disappoints me that this has been blown way out of proportion. I could attack back in a similar fashion, but I choose to take higher ground. If that makes me a "coward," then so be it, but I feel no need to further justify myself to anyone.
Don't worry, loyal readers; my blog will live on, in true "netbitch" fashion.
well i guess we see who the real coward is now, what happened to our dear friends comments?
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