this is what i have to say.

Hey all! And hello especially to my new readers!

So today my mom informed me that one of my dad's friends rang him up, telling him that his wife happened to "stumble" across my blog (also known as googling my name to see what dirty info came up) and thought that there were some tidbits that they simply HAD to know about. I am SUCH a deviant child, I know, so it's a good thing that I have some watchdogs looking out for me in the big bad world of cyberspace.

It's also a good thing I chose not to include that incident when I ate a baby, or ran an elaborate drug cartel overseas last summer. Wouldn't want mom and pop knowing about THAT. Instead, they heard that I had some problems with moving home (which they knew about), have some problems with their religion (which my mom knew about at least, and I assume my dad had inferred or heard about), the fact that I associate with lesbians (gadzooks!), and that I use the word "fuck" a lot. whoopsie!

I stand by my stance that my blog is open. I put it out there; anyone is free to read it. I assumed noone would particularly want to, simply because most of what I do is bitch and talk about knitting projects and flowers, and most people don't want to read about that (so thank you, dear friends, for staying tuned even though I am boring).

But I was obviously naive in that assumption - apparently the anecdotes about my life were of worth to someone, and that someone only wanted to inflict pain with that information. To be perfectly honest, I think it was one of the most small and petty things I have ever heard an adult to have done. To seek information about someone's twenty year old daughter in order to shame them or make them angry at her seems a really manipulative move to make, straight outta the schoolyard. This is unfortunate, as I greatly respected both of the perpetrators, and considered them to be close family friends (you know, the friends of your parents you'd still want at your wedding one day). I was hurt that people I respected felt this was a reasonable move to make, and felt no regard for what their actions might do. If indeed any evidence of dangerous behaviour were found, am I not at the age where it would be more reasonable to discuss it with me, an adult in my own right? Was there really so little a regard for my parents' friendship? What were the intentions of such actions, and how could there possibly be well-intentioned motives? I can only see the intention to cause trouble, especially when it is clear there has been an effort to rebalance my home life - these are NOT the actions of a friend. On the bright side, I'm glad they've shown their true colours over so small a matter, and that my parents' greatest concern was that I had been sharing too much of myself online. I am disappointed and, if you hadn't guessed, pretty angry that someone would try to use me to hurt my parents.

So please, stay tuned if you so feel inclined. I'll be sure to include some naughty details about my latest tryst with the hot gardener from two doors down, since it's clear some out there have so little of a life that they'd rather concern themselves with mine.

amanda

welcome to bracket city (these would be asides in Shakespeareville(aka. Stratford?))

Yeah, so I haven't really been avoiding the internet so much just not having an interest in it. I haven't even opened MSN messenger in weeks. Funny, because you'd think I'd be on all the time because Brampton's so boring, but I'm okay with being boring for a bit. I watch my episodes of House and Jeopardy (when possible) and knit and watch movies and read. Not Shakespeare, of course, because I forgot just how ASS-BORING that lout is. I'm just consuming culture and not really giving much back, but that's okay. I feel like I'm regrouping.

I saw 'Little Children' finally, after I had been wanting to for so long. And it was FANTASTIC. It was precisely the movie closest aligned with my personal tastes. I loved every little second of it, and it came at precisely the right time - ennui in suburbia? Right on.

I've finally read 'Clumsy', and while at first blush it seemed to be mainly about sex, it really ended up being a sweet story. Although I identified more with Theresa, which I don't think you were supposed to, because she was always complaining about her stomach hurting and being kinda bitchy. But Jeffrey Bron wasn't really what I had expected (I had been expecting a bit of a wiseass, based on what I had heard of him prior to my reading this). He was actually kind of pathetic, very clingy and mopey. I mean, it was sweet in that it captured a lot of the nuances of quirky relationships (with all of those awkward and blissful moments that are minute), rather than the huge and overarching ones so overly glamourized by most romances. I think Brown's telling of their story through vignettes with a dismantled timeline really worked here - no one ever remembers their relationship in a series of sequential events. And Brown's artwork, although generally sloppy, has a few panels that really capture some transcendence beyond the broken lines. Overall, I'd recommend to a friend.

I finished 'Sex, Drugs, and Cocoapuffs' too, which I had been intending on reading for a while. And really, what is there to be said? It was one of the funnest reads I've had in a long time (although there were a few grammatical errors, which always kills a little part inside of me (that being said, I know my blog is riddled with them, but this ain't going to a publishing house and isn't going to be read over by editors (I assume. For all I know, no one proofread SD&C. What do I know.))).

I've been getting bored with knit project although it's almost finsihed, so I'm mixing it up with working on the backpack again. It's easy knitting, but that's what I need (because I knit while I watch stuff).

I've been working like a motherfucker (who I can only assume get a lot of business?) at the garden centre/flower shop. I worked on centrepieces for a wedding and even helped set up the wedding, which was pretty awesome (and also a far cry from anything they let me do at Remark, which was nothing). I think they had very little faith in me at Remark, but I'm okay with it - I learned there and got all the shitty boring tasks down pat before I started somewhere that actually wants to teach me things. Admittedly, I'm mostly working cash these days because the garden centre is so busy, but at least once a day I get to do up a big bouquet or learn how to do something for an arrangement. I get a lot more freedom because the customers are spending a lot more money, and my managers seem to think the work I do is beautiful. The place is run by an Italian family who seem to really like me (I was even made lunch by my manager's sister! Just because she thought I looked tired and needed a good sandwich!) There are coffee runs for everyone done at least twice a day and there are always muffins or cookies or something going on. There is just a real sense of community, which is really refreshing.

Now I've lost track of time and have to go to bed for work, which I should have done like an hour ago. Whoops. I hope everyone out there's doing well this summer, and I'll try to get better about this staying in touch thing. I'm working on it.

amanda

when you were young

Jill recently went through her old report cards, and it inspired me to do the same. Luckily, my mom had saved a big box of old things. And what I learned was surprising, and yet also not. I've learned

- that the most consistent comments on my report cards were that I was distracted easily in class, I had difficulties handing in homework on time, and that I did not like participating in gym class. I suppose some things never change.

- that my best subjects were my language skills, music, art, and french. Surprisingly, comments on my artistic abilities far outweighed the amount of comments on my writing skills, which I had always assumed were my strength. Indeed, the big box was FILLED with old drawings of mine, often with highly entertaining parent/teacher deceifers at the top. There were plenty of stories too, usually with highly decorated cover pages.

- I was a good writer, but I always had to be urged to write.

- my favourite topics in my journal entries were the Power Rangers, dinosaurs, Barbies, my family, cats and various other animals, and my future careers, which included movie star, singer, ballerina, princess, and ice skater. Apparently I was as indecisive about my future then as I am now, and my tastes just as varied.

Looking at the papers of my past is strange, because I can recognize that kid, but as a younger cousin or something. I can't ever imagine myself being that young, but I can see the glaring similarities.

In other news, I am working at a flower shop/garden centre that has kept me hoppin' for the past week. I've only had one day off so far, but it's a good thing. It's keeping my mind occupied, and I'm doing things I enjoy. I'm learning more here than I ever could at Remark, because the designers are teaching me how to design. I've been doing centrepiece arrangements for a huge wedding order the past few days; I am doing ARRANGEMENTS. It's exciting, even though it's awkward working at a place where every day, at least one person recognizes me from high school. Le sigh.

Anyway, I'm off. Just wanted to let you know I'm still kickin'. More later, I promise. When I'm feeling much more wordy.

amanda

baby if you strip you can get a tip

I haven't been posting much, but that's mainly because living at home gives me a)nothing to do and b)nowhere to do it but my basement. I've been job hunting mainly, and trying to find a great job in Brampton is a pretty shitty task. Luckily, I have an interview tomorrow at a floral shop, so hopefully that goes well and I can continue my dorky passion for playing with flowers (shut up, it's awesome).

Knitting project is definitely nearing completion, but I got lazy and went to Lezzy's for the weekend (sounds like some hot girlbar, doesn't it?) No, we went to Tango's, which would have been a bore had we not gotten completely pissed. Is it really SO difficult to make a hot lez bar? Oh, and I saw the famed Heavenly Heights, and let me tell you, she is worth the hype.

So yeah. I'd pin my project at about 65% completed. I am mucho excited for its eventual completion.

And I've started reading Richard III for my Shakespeare class. Richard (the third, not one of the billion others, because there really are in this one) is totally my new idol in a "damne, I don't want to be that guy, but it's awesome that guy exists" kinda way. Because in Act 1 Scene 2, he comes across this chick mourning her husband, and she gets angry at him and damns him to hell since Richard was the one who killed him. But then he's all "But I killed him because your face is so fair" and "We'll end up sleeping together, don't you worry" and by the end of the scene, he's offered her the opportunity to kill him (which she declines because she wants him dead, but she doesn't want to be the one to do it), and then he offers her a ring, which she TAKES, because denying a gift makes you unworthy of offering one or whatever bullshit she justifies it with. I was more impressed with the 180 he was able to inspire, and the cajones it takes to tell the women whom you have just widowed that you're going to have sex and she's going to love it. WHAT A STUD.

I had my math skillz confidence blown today when I had difficulty with the Rona application. Seriously. But I haven't had to do decimal/fraction conversion since the 8th grade! WTF!

And I needed to share. This is such a guilty pleasure, but it makes me so delighted. Enjoy.



amanda

may the fourth be with you

I saw Spiderman 3 today. Sam Raimi just gets better at these movies. I love his sense of humour about the whole thing; he lays on the cheese, but very consciously so. And I love James Franco. So yes, I smiled and giggled like a little girl the whole time. I just wish Tobey Maguire weren't such an uggo (omg, and just WAIT until you see his Jared Leto phase). But the cinematography was beautiful, the effects were fantastic, and the plot surprisingly engaging. I thought that 3 villains were going to be a bit much, but it was well paced (as much as I would have liked to see more Venom, although his face was a bit icky around the eyes). Ugh, and as much as I love Kirsten Dunst (so sue me), she is so frickin' annoying as MJ.

I don't have much else to say right now as I have eaten far too much when out for Indian food with my parents, and all I want to do is go upstairs and watch tv and knit a while. And that is precisely what I will do.

And for fun,
You scored as The Sprightly Elfin Femme. Cute and irresistible, you inspire and foster the little kid in everyone. Also, you make the best cookies and cutest knit hats.

The Vaginal-Reference-Making Dyke		60%
The Sprightly Elfin Femme		60%
The Student Dyke		55%
The Quasi-Gothic Femme		50%
The Pretty-Boi Dyke		45%
The Surprise! Dyke		45%
The Granola Dyke		40%
The Femme Fatale		35%
The Bohemian Dyke		35%
The Stud		30%
The Little-Boy Dyke		25%
The Magic Earring Ken Dyke		15%
The Hipster Dyke		15%

What Type of Lesbian Are You? (Inspired by Curve Mag.)
created with QuizFarm.com

amanda

PS: I cannot wait for Heroes. Arrrrgh, I wish it were Monday.

PPS: If last night's crapfest was supposed to make me want to watch Addison's new spinoff, FUCK YOU ABC. I'm reconsidering my relationship with Grey's now, thanks to that (although, admittedly, it was on shaky ground anyway. Everyone needs their soap opera stuff from somewhere).

turd-town express

Officially out of London. Mixed feeelings about the whole thing. I'd like to say that I'm all shiny and happy to be out of there, because for the most part I am. I'm glad that I don't have any stupid classes to attend anymore, and I don't live in a centipede Club Med, and that I don't really have to worry about money very much at present moment, or worry about groceery shopping. But all of those benefits come with the downsides of living in Assville Northish, which include my father, having to find a REAL job, lack of close-by pals, and general boredom. There is nothing to DO here (although, admittedly, Toronto is a mere 40 minute bus ride away).

On the bright side, I feeel more creative here. There is less insistance on creating, therefore I feel free to get more stuff done. Perhaps this is just my strangeness, but whatever; in this case, it works for me.

So, as of now, the guest room (which I guess is Amanda's Room again?) is a disaster zone, seeing as I haave to clean out all of the crap my family has decided didn't have anywhere else in the house it could go. My parents were all "Ugh, you have too much stuff" when they were moving me, but I come by it honestly, and both of them are far worse than I am (Exhibit A: My father and his rooms of books; Exhibit B: my mother's desk). So the next few days are filled with the fun of job searching and getting settled.

I was inspired by a recent issue of Jane, so my backpack project is paused. Now, I won't spoil the surprise, but this will be my first wearable pieece ('cause scarves don't really count) so I am very excited. I'll be done in two weeks, I estimate (altthough don't hold me to it). But it's tricky, as I'm not working from a pattern. This is all out of my head, babes, so roll with me and we'll see where we end up.

And I've recently been finding the Internet kind of lacking. Not that there isn't anything out there, but I feel the problem is there is too much, aand none of it that I really care about. When zefrank ended, I feel like a little daily jolt of a cyber community died in me, so I'm left communityless. FUCK THAT, I'm joining craftster.org as a jump off spot.

And I'm hoping to be motivated to start involving more photos in this blog, so expect to see a lot more of my stellar mug. Just thought I'd warn you before you started orgasming in your computer chairs (oh, that's right, you newfaangled kids use laptops, so be extra careful).

amanda