The Art of Undressing

In taking the time for some serious introspection the last few months, I didn't realize how guarded I'd become. Sure, it was comfortable and safe, and completely necessary – I have a better idea of what I need, and a renewed dedication to accomplishing some of those things I've been talking about forever. But I'd been dating and meeting new people, and being an introverted type, it's been far easier to be this simulacrum of Amanda, this profile of person. I'd been hitting all of the beats, and talking favourite movies and music, and distilling myself down to talking points. It's kept my focus on the internal, but it's kept me at arm's length and it's kept me from making true connections. So as I pile on the layers this fall, I'm shedding this tired skin and trying to inhabit a freer sense of self – how refreshing!

On a related note, I'm participating in NaNoWriMo this year. I feel excitement and fear all entwined and bundled up together, and I know it's not going to be easy (mostly, in terms of keeping me engaged), but I have the sense I'm embarking on something wonderful here. I plan to write here about the stuff I'm going through, but in all honesty, after writing all day at work and coming home to NaNo, I may not have the energy. I may grow to hate words (ha! unlikely). I don't even have a plot or characters yet. I've got some vague ideas of the kind of story I'd like to tell and explore, so we'll see how that works out. We'll see what happens – it's exciting to see this roll of paper unfurling, armed with 64 crayons and light hands.

I already know those en dashes will litter my work. But I just love them so! I'm sorry, semi-colon!